covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
