i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
