gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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