you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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