are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
