Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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