Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
me + whiskey = a bad person
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
