Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
