So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
