i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Success! We fucked roommates!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
