I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
