i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
