He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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