So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
