I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
