I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i think i have two assholes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Randomize
