i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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