Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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