Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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