i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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