He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
