dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
