so that wasnt chicken after all
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
