Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just pynch a tree in the face
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
