So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
