God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
wow bdsm is so cute
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
