sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
