About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
