I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
