My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
