Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
