super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
