Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
