I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
