Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
