Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
