and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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