Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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