Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i think my cat just said my name.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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