He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
