Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
