didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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