Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
did you just send me my own nude
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You don't make any sense
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