So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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