You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
