you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
