More tranny stories later!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
