there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
