You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
