i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
