Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
